Gangs – Thugs or family?

The following post is an excerpt from my upcoming ebook "Why Do for Parents" - a short and concise guide, which breaks down the thought processes of young people and helps adults - parents in particular - understand why their children act a particular way and provide them with possible solutions.

Most of these young people are the products of what many media outlets call “broken Britain” - broken homes and dysfunctional families.

No matter what a young person says to an adult about whether they need help or advice from them, it is the duty of adults to provide it anyway. Resistance will always be there.

So what could possibly be the contributor to young people hanging around in gangs, in fact, what are gangs?

The answer could be social neglect, this is more than a generation gap, this is a total disconnection. Adults need to do more to connect with their young. This is not about adults rediscovering their youth, this is about the older generation taking responsibility for the very beings they brought into this world.

Young people are growing up in homes where they barely see their parents, who work 9 to 5/6/7 even 8 in the evening; where, in their schools from a young age they are branded and categorised and have to carry these tags for the rest of their educational years; where, in society they are called delinquents thugs, and anti-social. This is three areas where neglect of young people is occurring and such treatment causes them to form a body within which they feel safe and secure, where there is trust and possibly 'love'.

A 'gang' imitates to some extent, what every young person wishes they had at home, a family, a group of people who protect them, look out for them, and help them when needed.

If we break down the working of a 'gang' we can see similarities to roles in family:

“Older” (reworking of 'elder'): This person is seen as the leader or one of the senior members of the gang but is also seen as someone the rest of the gang look up to, aspire to be like and whose role they dream of inheriting in future. However, this term can also be used to show that the person is the older and biological brother/sister of a younger person. The older protects the rest of the gang, especially his “younger”, most times, as leader of the pack the older is recognised by others and given respect accordingly. - Does this not sound like the role of father/mother?

“Younger”: Every “older” takes on a younger, who they treat as their apprentice, younger brother, or child, even. The “youngers” are the protégées of the older, they always do the olders bidding, they learn all the tricks of the game from them and if anything goes wrong, they will tell their older. Youngers always want to do their older proud and get praise from them. This term can also be used to notify that the young person has an older biological brother/sister.

“Tiny”: The “tinys” are the youngest of the lot, they are generally younger than the 'youngers' and are more or less seen as the babies of the 'gang', they are protected but kept out of harms way and are the responsibility of the “youngers”. The tinys could all point to someone who has more than one older biological brother/sister.

Can you see the similarities in family values within the gangs? It even extends to relationships, with boys and girls calling their respective partners “hubby” and “wifey”.

Everything about a young persons life these days is an imitation of adulthood, an imitation of what they aspire for – their lives are like the games of the playground, such as “mums and dads”, “cops and robbers” - a massive imitation of the world around them, the environment they live in.

With adults unable to provide young people with the stability of family, they then go out and start their own little families, groups which the media would have you call 'gangs'. While there is violence at times, this is only the case because they live in a world without protection and must always protect what they percieve to be their 'territory' or 'property'. Yes, it has gotten out of hand, but only because adults have allowed it.

However, not all young people are involved in gangs, some are merely hanging around with a group of people that they trust more than you, hence, they are reluctant to take any advice from you, because as far as they are concerned, “I can get whatever I need from my friends.”

With many single parent families, the child after a certain age will yearn for the missing parent. They may even look for them this is not to say that the child does not value you, but it means that the child is looking for stability.

The absence of real guidance from parents means that children will go out and experiment with things themselves, causing a lot of unnecessary harm to themselves and others around them, for how can they know unless they are taught, and how can they be taught unless a teacher is there to provide them with the guidance?

Peer pressure, drugs, alcohol, sex, puberty, education, handling finances – these are all issues that young people in today's society need to be guided on, yet they are failed by both, parents and teachers. This could be the catalyst that forces them to find out for themselves, and causes the disconnection we are now seeing become evident in society.